I pulled open my mailbox, expecting to see the same as always: endless ads and junk mail. This time, however, there was an elegantly addressed envelope hidden in the mix. Intrigued, I opened it to find a wedding invitation. Much like all the others, it stated the necessary information: time, date, location, etc. And at the bottom of the stamped stationary paper, was the phrase “Black Tie Affair- Please Wear Appropriate Attire”. Hmmmm…… What exactly is appropriate attire? Time to Google it, I guess.
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Definition:
“Black Tie Affair” is the phrase often used to signify a social event “where all the attendees are expected to wear formal attire” appropriate for the time of day, season, and nature of the event (Urban Dictionary). Black, in this context, is used to represent class and sophistication. It’s elegance and beauty to the max. Therefore it’s easy to understand why it’s the color associated with this phrase, as its often chosen for weddings and galas, among other occasions. This phrase is used to tell guests to dress in a very specific type of fashion (classy and sophisticated, as the color suggests). There are several different types of black tie affairs, however, from “Black Tie”/ “Black Tie Required” to “Black Tie Preferred/Requested” and “Black Tie Optional” and each one serves a specific purpose or intention, and each one contributes to the famous phrase we all know of today.
Glenn O’Brien- the Style Guy:
Glenn O’Brien is hailed as many to be the “Socrates of popular culture” and a “mass-cultural anthropologist” when it comes to men’s formal wear as well as formal etiquette. He has plenty to say about all types of events, from “black tie required to black tie optional, and everything in between. After reading up on him, it can definitely be said that he knows what he’s talking about when it comes to all things formal. While one could go on for days about his ideas of fashion and etiquette, most important is his belief that, even in today’s age, having a style guide is key to making sure one is ready for any kind of event. Nowadays, people “have gaps in their knowledge on how to behave on particular occasions. More than they might have a few generations ago” (O’Brien). With clothing attire being so causal these days, people seem to think they know everything to know when it comes to dressing for anything, but that’s simply not true. Thus, O’Brien recommends everyone follow a style guide to ensure they have style and class, and know how to dress and act properly in any occasion, whether it be “black tie required”, “black tie preferred”, or “black tie optional”.
“Black Tie” / “Black Tie Required”
The appearance of these phrases on any invitation means that the hosts expects tuxedos and floor- length evening gowns to be worn, perhaps with a little more force if using the second option. Thus, using “Black Tie Required” should really be used sparingly, unless “they are certain that there will be guests too naïve or inconsiderate to infer the mandatory nature of the former” phrase (Black Tie Guide- Etiquette). And if there are a few guests who interpret “Black Tie” wrong, then it would be best if the host brushed it off as nothing more than a learning experience for those who were not wearing proper attire.
The use of these phrases comes with strict, specific expectations for many reasons. Mainly, one can assume with such a request that the host has put in quite a lot of work to make a very elegant, exceptional evening for all guests and would like the attire to match that sophistication and class. Thus, dressing properly when these two phrases are used is highly important. This is not the time to wear whatever you want. This is the time to be respectful of the host and enjoying the event they put so much energy into. If guests cannot comply with the wishes of the host, it is best if the invitation be declined.
This phrase is the oldest, most notorious of the bunch, if only for the fact that it was the no-question choice when it came to any sort of event for centuries. Some could even argue that “black tie” attire, once upon a time, was worn as casual wear is worn today. This desire to always be dressed in the best can be traced all the way back to the Victorian Era. As history goes, Queen Victoria was crowned in 1837, in a time when “ the industrial revolution was in full swing” and men “wanted to appear as grave and serious as the banks and factories they owned” (Black Tie Guide-Victorian). Thus, in a time when money became a very big part in the development of cities, countries, and the world, dressing the best was a very big deal. Though this idea of “black tie attire” has evolved (once including specifics such as day and night attire, as well as dress coats, waist coats, etc.) it is still associated with being the best of the best and is a nod to generations past.
“Black Tie Preferred” / “Black Tie Requested”
Using these two phrases, as opposed to the former two, is slightly more laid back. Either of these two options is used when someone wants to “host a very formal party but [does] not want to exclude guests that cannot afford a tuxedo or nice evening gown” (Black Tie Guide- Etiquette). As opposed to “Black Tie Required”, either of these two choices signifies to guests that the host truly wishes everyone be in formal attire, but if someone really can’t afford such expensive, formal clothing, then the wearing of a dark suit and tie, or evening gown/cocktail dress (if women prefer to go this route, however, its best that they make sure the dresses are of a rich, dark color (Style Caster)) would suffice. However, if guests simply don’t want to wear a tux and choose to wear a suit instead, or a simple dress as opposed to a more formal one, even if they can easy afford or already own one, then it is best if the invitation is politely declined. This saves the hosts from feeling as though their preferences are irrelevant.
“Black Tie Optional”
The most laid back of the trio, this option is seemingly the most popular these days. This choice is often used when the host wants to signal to guests that they can wear tuxedos and evening gowns, but they’re not required. If the guest chooses, they can wear something as casual as a blazer or a nice cocktail dress. This works well for large gatherings such as a dinner gala for a business. In all honesty, however, there is not much difference between this phrase and the use of “Formal” or “Business Attire”. This lack of differentiation can cause some confusion for guests, especially when the term is used for a business function. If guests are unsure or unable to receive clarification, then they are free to do whatever experts say is best, including some of the following options:
• if a man enjoys any opportunity to wear his tuxedo he should do so (this was Frank Sinatra’s preferred solution to the "optional" conundrum)
• if a man fears being mistaken for the wait staff he should opt for a dark suit, white dress shirt, conservative tie, dress socks to match the suit and well-shined calfskin dress shoes
• if a man refuses to play this no-win guessing game he should steer clear of the event altogether
Unlike its counterparts, this phrase is most popular these days. Unlike a few centuries ago, dressing in formal attire is not an everyday thing anymore. Now, “black tie” is reserved for extremely special occasions, so rare in fact that going to a very formal event in which “black tie required” is not something most people plan on anymore. Except for the occasional wedding, this phrase is only used for very expensive, very formal events (banquets, charity events, etc.) Nowadays, people are more laid back, and thus their choice of formal wear reflects that. That’s where this idea of “black tie optional” was born, and it’s why it’s so popular today.
All in all, these different options all encompass the phrase “Black Tie Affair”. When we see or hear that phrase being used, we know that something very formal is going to be occurring, and it is best to familiarize ourselves with whichever type of Black Tie Affair we’re attending so that we can best accommodate our hosts as well as enjoying the evening.
Sources:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=black+tie+affair
http://www.blacktieguide.com/Etiquette/Etiquette_BlackTie_Codes.htm
http://www.blacktieguide.com/History/03-Victorian_Early,Mid.htm
http://www.colincowieweddings.com/articles/the-groom/10-minutes-with-glenn-obrien
http://stylecaster.com/black-tie-formal-wear/
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