My name is Regina the Red Panda. I
frolic in the foothills of the Himalayas in Nepal. My mate, Ruppert and I are
expecting cubs soon in early summer. Since I am pregnant for around 134 days, I
can eat bamboo in mass amounts without Ruppert judging me (like he has any room
to talk when he weighs 17 pounds).
The other day as I was climbing my
favorite tree, something very strange happened. A group of odd looking
two-legged creatures were walking towards my tree holding some loud machine.
The creatures were pointing at me yelling, “Ailurus fulgens! Ailurus fulgens!”
Whatever the hell that means. Not only are these weird creatures ugly, but they’re
stupid as well. Before I knew it the creatures were using their loud handheld
machine to try and cut down my favorite tree! I was startled and fell down a
few branches until my bushy tail saved me from my inevitable death. Do these
creatures not have any courtesy for a pregnant panda or what?!
Out of nowhere another loud noise
was coming from a thing on wheels with a bunch of blinking lights. Yet another
two-legged creature emerged from the strange object. This creature was yelling
loudly, saying things I couldn’t understand. He took the ugly son of a bitches
that tried cutting down my tree and killing me, and put them in the object and
rolled away into the forest.
I was in awe, straight baffled at
what had just happened before me. I had to find my best friend Rashida and tell
her about my insane day. While snacking over some berries in Regina’s nest, she
had told me that these odd, horrific creatures were something called humans. I
learned that the nice human worked for a thing called the World Wildlife
Conservation, and was going to charge the rude humans for something called
deforestation. The humans would either spend 10 years in prison (2 years longer
than I’m expected to live) or pay $1,000 (that could buy me A LOT of bamboo).
The commotion of these events
caused me a great deal of stress, which sent me into labor earlier than I had
planned. Thank the Panda Gods that Ruppert was in our nest nearby, and ran over
to help me deliver our two beautiful cubs. I was not sure how many cubs I would
have, since my litter could be anywhere between one and four cubs. We named our
healthy babies Roger and Rhonda.
I sure hope that I’m not exposed to
anymore of these human creatures, especially during my 90 days of nesting Roger
and Rhonda. I am one sassy mother Red Panda that should not be messed with.
Stories such as Regina’s take place
on a daily basis in the Red Panda population. There are estimated to be fewer
than 10,000 Red Pandas left in the world today (NationalZoo). There are many
things that you can do to help Red Pandas like Regina. For example, you could
donate to the World Wildlife Fund, and support movement against deforestation.
You could also raise awareness yourself and speak out for engendered animals. It
is time we stop tearing down animals homes and taking away their lives.
Works
Cited
"Red Pandas, Red Panda Pictures, Red Panda Facts - National
Geographic." National Geographic. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Nov. 2015.
"Red Panda." Fact Sheet. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Nov. 2015.
"Red Panda." WorldWildlife.org. World Wildlife Fund, n.d. Web. 18 Nov. 2015.
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